About a month ago I had a dream of Dr. Pillai. He was giving a seminar and called me up to assist him. He had gurney in front of the audience with a volunteer laying on it. He held the volunteers head and asked me to hold the legs. As the legs were heavy I couldn’t hang on to them and I let them go. He then told me to get on the gurney with the other volunteer. He called up two more participants and asked one to hold one end of the gurney and the other to hold the opposite end.

Dr. Pillai said “Just keep repeating I know I can. I know I can”. The two volunteers started chanting “I know I can! I know I can!” and we all started levitating higher and higher. When we got close to the ceiling,someone in the audience said “Baba’s going to dematerialize them so they can pass through the ceiling”. In the next part of the dream Dr. Pillai was sitting on a couch at the event taking a break.

He called me over and said he wanted to talk to me. He told me my arms were weak. I apologized for dropping the person on the gurney’s legs. He said that’s not what he meant but that I didn’t know how to take what I wanted and said that when a person wants food they go and take it(from the buffet or the fridge etc) but I didn’t know how to do that.

We went for a walk during the break and Dr. Pillai was holding my hand very tenderly as if a father was walking with his child. We walked down a dirt road close to where I grew up. He told me that if I took better care of myself an did selfless service all my problems would disappear. When I woke up I thought about how passive I am to life and how in many ways I still fell like a helpless child repeating childhood dynamics. I also realized I negatively self talk myself more than I say “I Can!”

So know every day I chant a full mala of “I know I can, I know I can!” This weekend at the seminar in New York Dr. Pillai said he is teaching people in there dreams because they have less obstacles and he looked right at me. I feel very blessed because I need a strong father figure to teach me how to be in the world. At the break I asked him to keep teaching me like this and he said he would! Thank you, Baba!