Almost one year ago I sat in front of Dattatreya Siva Baba at the Gurupurnima event in California. He told us to think of what we wanted most. My first thought was to have my addictions to alcohol and cigarettes removed. Then, my ego said, “Wait a minute…how about ten million dollars instead.”
The truth is that I wanted my addictions removed more than anything and little did I know what I was asking for…
After the event I went through a series of ego busting months. I lost my partner, my income, my home and my sanity. I was wandering cluelessly through the world and didn’t even know who or what I was. I was devastated and defeated.
Fortunately I had the opportunity to see Baba again at a New Years event in the Santa Cruz Mountains. It was a stormy day far beyond anything us Californians are ever used to. The wind was blowing, trees were falling, and mountains were sliding. The blessing was that I was able to ride to the event with a dear friend and while we took to the road we began to talk. The one-hour trip turned into many, many hours of blinding rain, dodging branches and heart-felt prayers. During that long, exciting, fun and frightening trip, I finally had the courage to say out loud to another person what I’d been thinking for many years, “I think I’m an Alcoholic.”
That admission lead me to seek further help and since that day I have been on to a path of recovery that has not only taken away the alcohol and cigarettes, but with the Grace of Dattatreya Siva Baba, I no longer even desire those things. Peace, love and joy do our beloved Guru.